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Tag Archive for: Mass Appeal

How to Manage At Home Workers

March 31, 2020/in TV and Video/by Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio

(Mass Appeal) – For you managers, supervisors and business owners out there who now have staff members working from home, this can be a very difficult time to ensure employees are doing what is expected if you’ve never extended your staff the ability to work remotely.

Ken Dolan Del-Vecchio, founder of GreenGate Leadership, offers some very simple advice to those in supervisory positions with a newly remote workforce.

  • Some leaders who are unfamiliar with leading dispersed teams are imposing new oversight measures on their staff members, asking them to log:
    • Workday start and end times.
    • The tasks they are devoting their time to every hour or half-hour.
    • Lunch and break start and end times.
  • While perhaps well-intended, this is a bad idea because it conveys a lack of trust.
  • Those on the receiving end will likely feel resentful.
  • They will feel that they are wasting their time filling out a log that has the sole purpose of convincing you that they aren’t shirking.
  • Your lack of trust in your staff will diminish their trust in you.
  • The predictable result: lessened engagement, lower morale, and less inclination to give discretionary effort, exactly the opposite of what you hoped to achieve.
  • Research shows that trusting your team, on the other hand, builds their trust in you. This, in turn, increases morale, engagement, and discretionary effort.
  • If you have already implemented such a tracking log:
    • Discontinue it.
    • Apologize to your staff for launching it.
    • Tell them that you did it as a result of your own anxiety about keeping things going and that you’ve realized that you should just trust them instead of trying to monitor their every move.
  • Contrary to what you may fear, apologizing in this manner will almost certainly increase your team’s respect and regard for you. We almost always appreciate it when a leader shows vulnerability by apologizing for an error and correcting it.
  • It is helpful during this time to provide your staff with access to articles, webinars, and other supportive resources that can help them structure their work setting at home, manage their time, and cope with the stress associated with what’s going on.
  • Providing access to these kinds of supports conveys respect for your staff during this time of great change and stress.
  • Remember that what matters is performance—results achieved—not activity. You can and should communicate, as always, with your team members regarding what they are achieving, providing regular words of thanks and constructive criticism as warranted.
https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/MassAppeal_ShowGraphic_650x366-2.jpg 366 650 Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Ken-Dolan2-1-1.png Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio2020-03-31 17:47:142020-10-21 14:18:47How to Manage At Home Workers

The Importance of Having a Purpose

November 12, 2019/in TV and Video/by Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio

The Importance of Having a Purpose*

  • What’s your purpose?
  • If you can answer this question, there’s a growing body of research showing that you will likely:
    • Live longer.
    • Sleep better and feel more relaxed when you’re awake.
    • Reduce your risk of Alzheimer’s disease by more than 50%.
    • Enjoy better overall health.
    • Have more friends.
    • Feel happier and more content.
    • Feel more engaged in life.
  • These benefits come with living a purpose that goes beyond self-interest. Some examples:
    • To be a caring parent and partner, and treat everyone with kindness and respect.
    • To make people smile and help them have fun.
    • To share information that helps people live healthier and more satisfying lives.
    • To end homelessness in my community.
    • To provide fresh, organic food for my customers.
    • To help survivors of abuse thrive.
    • To bring more health, sanity, and justice into the world.
  • We can identify our purpose by asking ourselves questions such as:
    • What are my most important values?
    • What life goals matter most to me?
    • How would I like to be remembered when I’m gone? What would I like people to say about me when they describe what I meant to them?
  • Purposeful living requires energy & focus. These are fueled by healthy living habits:
    • Getting enough rest.
    • Staying in the present moment.
    • Activity (exercise/movement).
    • Eating well.
  • It can help us stay on track by regularly stating our purpose out loud to ourselves and/or writing it down and posting it (some people write their purpose on a post-it note and stick it on their bathroom mirror).
  • It also helps to let other people know our purpose. This provides a gentle kind of accountability.
  • We can expect our purpose to change over time.
  • For parents, sharing our purpose with our child and helping them identify their own can be among the most important gifts that we give them.

 

*Much of this information comes from Life On Purpose: How Living for What Matters Most Changes Everything by Victor Strecher.

https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/massppeal-1.jpg 334 600 Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Ken-Dolan2-1-1.png Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio2019-11-12 19:15:032020-04-01 16:13:37The Importance of Having a Purpose

Teaching our kids courtesy and self-control

October 10, 2019/in TV and Video/by Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio

  • Little children don’t misbehave, they do what comes naturally. They depend upon us to teach them EVERYTHING!
  • Children mirror us: We are our child’s role model. We need to behave in the way we’d like them to behave.
  • If we want our child to be civil and kind and respectful, we need to consistently demonstrate civility, kindness, and respect toward our child and everyone else.
  • Try to only use language that you’re comfortable with your child repeating.
  • Say please and thank you to your child.
  • Tell the truth.
  • Make every touch a loving, gentle, respectful touch.
  • Keep in mind how powerful you are when compared with your child and set limits in a way that’s consistent, firm, and kind rather than unpredictable, angry, and punitive.
  • Saying “no” is essential to helping your child develop self-control, frustration tolerance, and good judgement.
  • We can help our child learn to soothe him or herself when frustrated, but we should generally avoid reversing a “no.”
  • Provide supervision and constructive feedback when your child is in the company of smaller children and pets.
  • Teach courtesy and self-control from the time they’re very small.
  • Expect your child to be wary of new and potentially frightening experiences and help them get familiar and, therefore, more comfortable with them.
  • Take your child with you when you have your hair cut. Let him or her sit on your lap or right nearby and talk with them about how much fun you’re having.
  • Bring them along when you see your dentist and let them sit with another adult and watch.
  • Take them to restaurants and other public places, pay close attention, and help shape how they behave.
  • The goal is to teach your child the skills that will help them manage their own behavior and successfully navigate interpersonal relationships and the world around them.
https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/massppeal-1.jpg 334 600 Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Ken-Dolan2-1-1.png Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio2019-10-10 13:36:162020-04-01 16:13:38Teaching our kids courtesy and self-control

Tips for Coping with the Loss of a Pet–Mass Appeal

August 24, 2019/in TV and Video/by Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio

Love Your Pet Week: Tips for coping with the loss of a pet

Don’t be surprised if losing your pet hurts more than when you lost a human family member. It is absolutely normal for some people who lose their animal companion to find this loss hurts more than when they lost a human loved one. If you’re one of those people, it doesn’t mean you loved your parent, sibling, or friend any less. Instead, it means you had an exceptionally close bond with your animal companion, probably because they lived in your house with you all of their lives, you touched them with your hands every day, and you may have cared for them in a very intimate way-bathing them, clipping their nails, preparing their food, and administering medication. This kind of closeness often builds an exceptionally deep connection.

It’s normal to feel numb, disbelieving, furious, guilty, sad, hopeless, confused, and calm–all within just a few minutes. You may also have difficulties with short-term memory, sleeping, and eating.

People grieve differently and there’s no right way to do it. Some people show a lot of feelings to a lot of people, others grieve more quietly. The length of time grief persists varies from one individual to the next. There are no correct and incorrect ways to get through this.

Expect your grief to progress unevenly. It’s normal to feel one day (or one minute) like you’re calm and doing better and then all of a sudden crash back into the pit of grief. Over time you’ll feel better, but the progression generally feels unsteady.

Take good care of yourself: eat well, rest, exercise, share your thoughts and feelings with loved ones. Share your thoughts and feelings with people who love and respect you, those who understand how much you loved your friend. Try to get enough sleep. If sleep proves difficult, soothe yourself with soft music, meditation, or stretching before retiring. Try to rest even if sleep eludes you. Do your best to eat well and drink lots of water. Stick with your regular program of exercise and daily activity. Sometimes working helps because it keeps you structured, provides constructive distraction, and places you close to loving friends. Sometimes it’s better to take a bit of time off.

Even the most loving pet guardians often feel guilty. No matter how much love and care you gave, how closely you paid attention to symptoms, or how carefully you made end-of-life decisions, in hindsight you may torment yourself with the suspicion that you failed to love, care, plan, and do enough. Take heart. Over time, talking these concerns through with others and thinking them through on your own will eventually help you see that you did all that one could, and your guilt will wither.

Inform and include children in ways that fit their age. Children younger than five typically cannot grasp the permanence of death. It can help to explain that the pet’s body stopped working and they will not wake up, eat, or move anymore. You may need to repeat this explanation a number of times. By age eight or nine most children understand death in a more adult fashion. Children of all ages, including teenagers, tend to assume that when unwelcome things happen in their family, somehow they may have had something to do with it. It can help to reassure them that this is not so by telling them that their friend died because she was old or sick or suffered an injury, and nothing they did contributed to this happening. Include children in whatever ritual the family decides upon: reading good-bye letters, letting go of balloons, or whatever other way you choose to mark your friend’s passing.

https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/massppeal-1.jpg 334 600 Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Ken-Dolan2-1-1.png Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio2019-08-24 13:25:522020-04-01 16:13:38Tips for Coping with the Loss of a Pet–Mass Appeal

How To Nurture Your Child’s Self-Esteem – Mass Appeal

June 4, 2019/in TV and Video/by Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio

Nurturing Our Child’s Self-Esteem

  • First and most important, never attack your child personally:
    • Imagine what it feels like to be called dumb, stupid, lazy, weak, or any other name by your mom or dad.
    • Make a commitment to never verbally assault your child.
    • It helps to give your child feedback so they develop positive behaviors—“shhh, we need to be quiet in the library; remember, it’s important to pet the puppy very gently because he’s so little”— but personal attacks/name calling only hurts them.
  • Notice your child’s positive behavior and compliment her or him on these:
    • I like the way you share your toys with your little brother.
    • I see the way you pay attention to the game even when you’re all the way out in left field—way to go!
    • You got a gold star on your math homework—that’s great work!
  • Give them words they can hang onto that describe their strengths:
    • You’re a loving big brother.
    • You’re a good team player and you’re good at paying attention.
    • You know how to take responsibility for getting your homework done.
  • Do not give your child untruthful or exaggerated compliments as this distorts their ability to accurately assess their own attributes and skills.
  • It never helps to say things that lessen your child’s grasp on reality.
  • Affirming your child’s self-esteem in the ways described above does not negate the need to also give your child constructive feedback.
  • We all benefit from constructive criticism when it’s delivered in a way that is indeed constructive and not hurtful.

Source: https://www.wwlp.com/mass-appeal/how-to-nurture-your-child-s-self-esteem/2051830965

https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/massppeal-1.jpg 334 600 Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Ken-Dolan2-1-1.png Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio2019-06-04 19:05:152020-04-01 16:13:38How To Nurture Your Child’s Self-Esteem – Mass Appeal

Wedding Week: How Learning To Apologize Leads To A Better Relationship – Mass Appeal

May 8, 2019/in TV and Video/by Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio

Finding the Strength to Apologize

  • When we apologize after making an error, we demonstrate strength rather than weakness.
  • Many people seem confused about this, perhaps because we so rarely see public figures apologize.
  • Most of us will agree that attempts to deny or justify a mistake only further damage credibility.
  • Apology lays the cornerstone for the building of a new history, but that’s all. The person who apologizes must make that new history come alive during the days and months that follow their apology.
  • If we do the same thing again, our apology loses its value. Worse yet, it becomes a reference point for hypocrisy.
  • It pays for parents to apologize for their small, everyday mistakes in addition to the really big ones. (I have a quick story to share that illustrates the value here.)
  • Doing so helps our child feel respected and loved. It also provides good role modeling.
  • When planning to apologize for a substantial mistake—on the scale of addictive behavior that has consequences for loved ones or criminal behavior—professional guidance and the support of loving friends and family members can prove valuable to everyone involved.
  • Apology dos and don’ts:
    • Do take full responsibility: “I’m very sorry for what I did and I take full responsibility for it.”
    • Do share what you imagine the impact may have been: “I imagine you must have felt disrespected and insulted when I said that.”
    • Do make a commitment to never repeat the same behavior.
    • Don’t give a “non-apology” such as:
      • “I’m sorry that happened.”
      • “I’m sorry that you feel that way.”
    • Don’t give an “I’m sorry but” such as:
      • “I’m sorry I did that, but don’t you think you’re overreacting?”
      • “I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t have said that if you hadn’t started the argument.”
    • Don’t assume that positive intentions excuse the impact of negative behavior:
      • “I’m not going to apologize because I didn’t intend to hurt your feelings.”
  • Remember that apologizing for wrong-doing is the essential first step toward healing a damaged relationship and restoring personal integrity. Doing so demonstrates courage and personal strength.

Source: https://www.wwlp.com/mass-appeal/wedding-week-how-learning-to-apologize-leads-to-a-better-relationship/1986257114

https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/massppeal-1.jpg 334 600 Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Ken-Dolan2-1-1.png Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio2019-05-08 17:37:062020-04-01 16:13:38Wedding Week: How Learning To Apologize Leads To A Better Relationship – Mass Appeal

How To Detect Signs Of Suicidal Thoughts – Mass Appeal

April 5, 2019/in TV and Video/by Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio

What Everyone Should Know About Suicide

  • The frequency of suicide has bee;n increasing in the US for at least the past decade.
    • 123 /day
    • Now 45,000 a year, showing a 25% increase between 1999 and 2016
    • The male suicide rate is more than 3x that of females.
    • Native Americans have the highest suicide rate in the US, Inuits in Canada, Aboriginal People in Australia (high stress/lessened access to mental health care).
    • Worldwide, 600,000 people each year die in wars vs 800,000-1 million die by suicide.
  • Most but not all people who eventually commit suicide talk about their intentions, so threats must be taken seriously and evaluated.
  • Other warning signs:
    • Repeatedly saying life isn’t worth living.
    • Giving away valued possessions.
    • Checking one’s will / life insurance policy.
  • You will NOT “put the idea into their head” by asking someone if they are thinking of killing themselves.
  • Key questions to ask a person about whom you are concerned.
    • Do you have thoughts about wanting to be dead?
    • Have you thought of killing yourself?
      • Have you thought about ways you might do it?
      • Have you felt any intention to follow through on doing this?
    • Have you ever done any preparation (collecting pills, trying the strength of a beam in the garage)/rehearsal?
  • Helping the suicidal individual stay away from their preferred method of self-harm (keeping the gun at someone else’s home, for example) can be lifesaving because the impulse to act often passes quickly.
  • Clinical depression is often a major contributing factor and all medical staff should screen for this illness, but it is not always present.
  • Despair (hopelessness) is a key factor even when no clinical depression is evident.
  • Empathy without judgment can help to keep an open line of communication and support.
  • We need to combat the stigma associated with mental health challenges so that this and other emotional health matters become easier to talk about without feeling shame.
  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

Source: https://www.wwlp.com/mass-appeal/how-to-detect-signs-of-suicidal-thoughts/1894857649

https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/massppeal-1.jpg 334 600 Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Ken-Dolan2-1-1.png Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio2019-04-05 13:42:072020-04-01 16:13:38How To Detect Signs Of Suicidal Thoughts – Mass Appeal

How To Fight The Loneliness Epidemic – Mass Appeal

March 5, 2019/in TV and Video/by Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio

The Loneliness Epidemic*

  • We evolved to live in close, collaborative connections with other human beings and when we feel alone we feel endangered/highly stressed.
  • Since the 1930s, Americans have been getting less involved with community and more isolated.
  • One study showed that, while in earlier decades Americans said on average that they have three confidants, in 2004 the average was zero confidants.
  • Translation: Many of us have no close friends.
  • Our families are more disconnected too—we don’t eat together, we don’t live near one another, we don’t do activities with our family members as regularly as we used to.
  • And, loneliness tends to spiral because as we become more isolated we often also become more suspicious of others.
  • Loneliness is a feeling of disconnection. We can feel lonely when in the company of other people.
  • Feeling lonely causes our cortisol (the “stress hormone”) to soar—as much as some of the most upsetting things that can happen to us.
  • Feeling lonely is as stressful as being punched by a stranger.
  • Isolated people get sicker.
  • Isolated people have lessened survival periods when living with cancer, heart disease, and respiratory problems.
  • Loneliness is associated with higher rates of depression and anxiety.
  • To end loneliness, we need to feel like we’re sharing – giving and receiving—with at least one other person.
  • We need to feel that we’re “in it together” with at least one other person.
  • Internet addiction is sometimes the attempted solution to the anxiety and depression associated with loneliness.
  • Social media is not the solution—it tends to increase feelings of loneliness.
  • Steps toward solutions:
    • Limit time online.
    • Increase time in face-to-face interaction with friends & family.
    • Get involved:
      • Volunteer – reach out to help others in need.
      • Work on community projects.
      • Take classes.

* This information comes mostly from Johan Hari’s Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression—and the Unexpected Solutions.

Source: https://www.wwlp.com/mass-appeal/how-to-fight-the-loneliness-epidemic/1826056978

https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/massppeal-1.jpg 334 600 Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Ken-Dolan2-1-1.png Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio2019-03-05 20:21:432020-04-01 16:13:38How To Fight The Loneliness Epidemic – Mass Appeal

Skills To Build Stronger, Lasting Friendships – Mass Appeal

February 5, 2019/in TV and Video/by Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio

We may have more “friends” than ever thanks to social media, but we’re often missing the deeper connection of true friendship. Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio, Founder of GreenGate Leadership tells us more.

In his book Simple Habits of Exceptional (But Not Perfect) Parents, Ken describes friendship as, “Life is a team sport and having even one or two good friends on our team boosts us in countless ways. Friends give us our first experience of loving connection outside our families. Showing us the goodness in the world, genuine friends confirm our spiritual impulse to reach beyond ourselves with kindness and hope. Friends share love, support, acceptance, understanding, positive challenges, constructive criticism, a variety of perspectives, and endless inspiration. Friends buoy one another through turbulent times, giving nurturance that, for the fortunate, will last a lifetime. Bearing witness to one another’s lives across the years, friends become the coauthors of our shared life stories, helping us remember, make sense of, and cherish our time here.”

Some skills to work at to foster deeper friendships are:

  • spending time together in person
  • listening without interruption
  • showing sincere interest over time
  • taking turns
  • accepting differences
  • respecting personal boundaries

Source: https://www.wwlp.com/mass-appeal/skills-to-build-stronger-lasting-friendships/1756649430

https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/massppeal-1.jpg 334 600 Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Ken-Dolan2-1-1.png Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio2019-02-05 14:48:292019-02-05 14:48:29Skills To Build Stronger, Lasting Friendships – Mass Appeal

A Life Coach’s Best Tips For 2019 – Mass Appeal

January 4, 2019/in TV and Video/by Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio

Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio, founder of GreenGate Leadership, gave us life coaching tips to kick off 2019.

Source: https://www.wwlp.com/mass-appeal/a-life-coach-s-best-tips-for-2019/1686729776

https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/massppeal-1.jpg 334 600 Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio https://www.kendolan-delvecchio.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Ken-Dolan2-1-1.png Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio2019-01-04 18:17:062019-01-04 18:17:06A Life Coach’s Best Tips For 2019 – Mass Appeal
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