Sharing Parenting Responsibilities When Both Parents Must Work from Home During the Pandemic

Some moms who are working from home because of the pandemic are getting overwhelmed by the care needs of their kids, in some cases even while the same kids’ dad is working in another room without interruption.
This may result from mothers traditionally being seen as the primary parent and fathers as the backup parent.
If you see this happening in your own family, note it, bring the issue up in conversation with your coparent, and work out a plan that feels fair to both of you.
It may be stressful confronting what’s going on but doing so will lessen the stress ultimately. (It’s human nature to avoid conflict. This often causes us to accept chronic stress rather than start a conversation that we expect will create a brief period of heightened stress.)
If your child’s other parent brings it up first, talk about the situation respectfully and seriously, not defensively or dismissively.
There are many ways to set up a plan:
- Alternate days (or parts of days) as the go-to parent.
- If it’s possible with your workplace, have one parent work alternate hours so that one of you can always focus exclusively on childcare.
Be sure to explain whatever plan you’ve decided upon to your kids and be consistent with your coparent in adhering to it.
Give lots of thanks and appreciation to your partner and children for sticking with whatever plan you come up with. This is a stressful time and expressing gratitude is always helpful.