Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio begins with a simple proposition that turns out to have revolutionary potential: men don’t listen because they can get away with it. By inserting inequality and power into the center of negotiating relationships, Dolan-Del Vecchio exposes the simplistic bromides of pop-psychologists like John Gray. Only by challenging power imbalances can we base our relationships on equality, and only by basing our relationships on equality can we ever really learn to communicate effectively.
--Michael Kimmel, Ph.D., author of Manhood in America and Professor, Dept. of Sociology, State University of New York at Stony Brook
Brilliant and much needed! Every man and woman struggling to create an intimate relationship will be thankful for this book. Using plain and simple language, Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio explains the role that power plays within couple relationships. He stresses the connections between love and equality and provides suggestions on how to achieve both. A must-read for everyone who seeks a deeper understanding of intimate partnership, including psychotherapists and other professionals who work with couples and families.
--Monica McGoldrick, MSW, Ph.D. (h.c.), author of You Can Go Home Again and Director, The Multicultural Family Institute, Highland Park, New Jersey
I hope all the men in my life--my partner, sons, friends, colleagues, and clients-- read this book. In addition to a straightforward discussion on the meaning of love, Dolan Del Vecchio tackles other matters that relationship experts too frequently avoid. An example is dating and domestic violence. I especially appreciate the section on choosing a therapist. The book is full of depth and surprises that will enrich your most precious relationships.
--Nydia Garcia Preto, LCSW, ACSW, Clinical Director, The Multicultural Family Institute, Highland Park, New Jersey
A provocative and immensely valuable book. Lots of things we learn about how to be a man get in the way of love. The author helps men recognize that fact and make healing changes in their lives and relationships. My wife will be glad that I read it.
--Garry Giannone, Vice President, Health and Wellness, Prudential Financial
A must-read for men and women of the 21st century! Consciousness raising is not always pleasant, but in this instance we are given great suggestions that can lead to richer lives and relationships. Dolan-Del Vecchio’s style is friendly, cogent, and convincing. Every man and woman who wants more from life should read this book.
--Alan M. Youngblood, Director of Employee Assistance and Work Family Programs, Merrill Lynch
This is a book to savor. Dolan-Del Vecchio gently guides the reader through a critical exploration of love, manhood, and partnership in the contemporary world. At once engaging, supportive, and unflinchingly honest, this is a book for men of courage and women who never sell themselves short. It will be required reading for my students and clients—and they’ll be forever grateful.
--Lynn Parker, Ph.D., Associate Professor, University of Denver, Graduate School of Social Work, Colorado Family Therapy Training Program
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